Man versus Germ

I drove into a nursing home today bringing a patient back from her dialysis session, and encountered another EMS crew, fully gowned and decontaminating their ambulance and stretcher after bringing a COVID positive patient discharged from the hospital back to the home. The crew was spraying their gear with bleach and whipping down every stretcher strap and nook and cranny of their ambulance. When we came back out with our now empty stretcher, they were still at it. We gave our stretcher a cursory wipe down and then found out we were all out pf sheets, and had only bath blankets. I approached the other crew and asked if they could spare us a sheet. The woman EMT said yes, but she would get it for us. “I don’t want your COVID cooties in the back of my ambulance after I just Mr. Cleaned it,” she said.

When I was younger, my dentist gave me these tablets to chew after I brushed my teeth. The tablets revealed in purple all the areas of plaque I had missed. Every time I used them, my teeth were always full of purple spots.
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I wonder if there was something like that we could use after cleaning our ambulance for COVID to show us all the spots we missed, all the COVID still in the ambulance. We would likely be appalled at all the spots we missed, the little COVID gremlins chattering and laughing at us.

Our ambulance service at the end of the day fogs the ambulances with vital oxide. They close the door and turn on the fog spray and that supposedly kills all the germs. After five minutes you can get back in your rig and drive away. But I can picture little COVIDs wearing their gas masks, taking them off when the fog dissipates, and then slapping high-fives with each other.

Today all day long, crews were asking for decon tags when they arrived with their patients at the hospitals. A decon tag means you get extra time at the hospital before they give you another call so you can decontaminate your ambulance and gear. I held the bleach spray like a six gun. I swirled and fired randomly. Take that you little fuckers! Thought you could fool me, f-you!

I imagine my spray hitting COVIDS like spray from a giant fire hose and the COVIDs like the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz screaming, “I’m melting! I’m melting!”

Man versus germ.

It’s warfare.

We’re not going down without a fight.

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